Are you partial to a bit of peer pressure? Social media experts around the globe think so. Companies like Facebook are staking their future on the idea that a recommendation from a friend is far more trustworthy than one from a flashy marketing message. Social media is now playing a huge role in peoples buying decisions, even affecting choices people make in their day to day lives.  This got me thinking, what would Twitter have me do this Christmas if social consensus guided my decisions?

Using my rock solid, rough and ready social analysis skills, I’ve pulled together a social media Christmas schedule you have to abide by. Why? Because it’s the will of the people. So strap on your seat belts, and do what the good folk of the Twittersphere expect of you!

For adults, Christmas is about the kids. For kids, Christmas is about the presents. You don’t want to be responsible for a mentally damaged child, so I’d suggest you make sure your gift option is up to scratch. I took the retailers top ten Christmas ideas this year and whittled them down to the four most mentioned.

It appears that the Leap Pad Explorer is this years must have toy. Affiliate marketers are going crazy for it, as are the parents. It’s basically an iPad for kids. Very swish, far posher than my 1989 Soda Stream. Just so you know, Doggie Doo is a kids game where a dog defecates into a dish. Classy. Fijit Friends are what can only be described as an LSD induced nightmare of a toy. The Let’s Rock Elmo doll plays a variety of instruments when put next to them. If I’m being critical, I’d hardly call him rocking.

After the presents comes lunch. So what is this year’s Christmas meat of choice? It’s always a nightmare decision. Do I stick with a big dry Turkey, or do I perhaps mix it up with a new bird, or maybe some beef. And for heaven’s sake, what about a vegetarian option? Well, I’ve put the question out to Twitter. 55,000 people have been talking about this conundrum and apparently, the traditional turkey is still the most popular, taking a huge slice of the festive meat pie with 59.1% of the mentions.

If you are going to mix it up, I’d suggest going for duck, that’s what will keep the most people happy. If you’re a vegetarian, forget about Christmas dinner this year, Twitter isn’t interested in your Yuletide needs.

After lunch, it’s the classic Christmas film conundrum. What to watch after powering through a meal of epic calorific proportions? I drew up a rough list of the greatest Christmas films of all time and tweaked the search to ensure people were talking about the films in relation to Christmas. Below are the results.

An amazing 223997 people have been talking Christmas films globally since the start of December. The gut feel in the office before I ran the search was that A Christmas Carol or Miracle on 34^th Street would romp home. Turns out Elf, starring Will Ferrell is in fact the most talked about Christmas movie this year. I’d imagine that’s largely due to the younger demographic on Twitter, but interesting all the same. Love Actually slipped in at 2^nd with 22.3% of the mentions whilst ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ failed miserably in last with a paltry 947 mentions. Black and white films just don’t cut the cranberry sauce these days.

With Christmas films comes Christmas advert breaks. So which adverts have we been enjoying the build-up this year? If you’re Charlie Brooker, none of them. If you’re Joe Twitter, these are the adverts you were talking about the most this December.

Coca Cola and that magical Christmas truck blow the competition away taking 42% of the 44,000 odd mentions. Coca Cola may have an advantage though… they’re a global brand and I’ve no doubt they’re rehashing that advert all over the planet. So really, I’d say this year’s major advertising success story has been John Lewis for their use of the child so giving he puts Jesus to shame. They accrued 12,402 mentions and 28% of the vote. Pretty incredible considering this year was its debut. Morrisons didn’t do so well, it seems only an irate Guardian journo was fussed about their effort. Iceland, well played. You saved on set costs by filming in Dagenham and you’ve come in 4^th. Not bad going!

Finally, the big one you’ve all been waiting for. Who should you affiliate with this Christmas, Jesus or Father Christmas? I ran a search for all the Santa Claus related names versus Jesus with mentions that had Christmas or anything relevant to his birthday (three Kings, the nativity and Mary).

This is what happened…

Jesus Christ… is not going to be happy. Santa Claus has taken a whopping 562,977 mentions during December. That’s 81.2% of the mentions and it’s not even his birthday. A travesty if ever I did tweet one.

So, just to recap, this is your Christmas day, as dicated by Twitter :-

1. You’ll be buying your child a Leap Pad Explorer

2. You’ll be eating Turkey this year

3. You’ll be watching Elf

4. Your family will all marvel at the Coca Cola Christmas truck

5. Dad will be dressing up as Father Christmas, not Jesus

I hope I’ve helped standardise your Christmas this year, have an amazing festive period and a fabulous New Year!

@PeterWood33

@SteakLondon